


Aging Heart

by SWModdy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: A ray of sunshine in this, Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, hurting Obi-Wan, what's new lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-20 09:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 9,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12429558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SWModdy/pseuds/SWModdy
Summary: They say when human soul mates meet the oldest stops aging until the youngest is the same age. No wonder Obi-Wan began to to grow a beard after he met Anakin.





	1. Timer stopped

To start off he hadn’t noticed at all.

But you could forgive Obi-Wan for not taking note of his own aging since he wasn’t that vain.

After two years though…

There was no change and snagging Bant by the elbow to examine him properly confirmed it. Obi-Wan hadn’t aged in two years just like he suspected, even if his hair and nails grew, he was not aging at all.

Pressing his face into his hands he had taken a decision.

He grew a beard, making himself look older in the process and hiding away the evidence of what was going on, that he had meet his soulmate in the shape of a boy fifteen years his junior.

Because he wasn’t stupid.

Obi-Wan was many things, reckless, attached, emotionally stunted, demanding… but not stupid even if he could be willfully blind.

He knew it was Anakin, could feel it in the way the blonds bond drew on him, explaining the level of depth they now shared to a more understanding degree and wasn’t that just creepy.

And so with that willful blindness he knew he had and an durasteel will, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and his ears to Anakin as a soulmate and reminds himself firmly that this is his padawan as he grows the beard and teaches the boy.

The boy who becomes a man eventually and Obi-Wan can take the blinds off and tell him.

A man who can and will fall in love.

But not with Obi-Wan.

And that burns him like acid, as corrosive to his heart because its his own fault, he knows its his own fault because he’s the elder of this part.

His responsibility to tell and… and…

Force.

Obi-Wan presses his face into his hands and tries not to cry.

Its a moot point, because the waterworks will not be kept at bay by his hands alone and he’s been strong for so long, waiting…

He just figured… if he waited for Anakin to be his age…

Shoulders trembling, Obi-Wan gave into the quiet despairing tears because anything harder would scorch his fragile soul to ashes.

()()()

The blind mans eyes, that’s what Obi-Wan has.

On purpose.

He knows perfectly well where Anakin goes, who he commcalls and who he talks to… shares bed with.

But if he allows himself to consider it, if he thinks about it…

He dives into the war effort as hard as he can, letting the sound of blasters and his men fill the Force and the air around him and the guilty pleasure of Anakin at his side, Anakin possessive protectiveness in the Force.

Anakin sleeping in the same tent as him, his breath soft and steady.

Its a small measure of relief and succor for a wounded soul.

And then he gets a diplomatic mission with Mace, requiring him to shave his facial hair. The Korun takes one look at him and grabs him by the shoulder and cups his chin, tilting his face left and right while staring at him with wide eyes of realization.

“…Kenobi…”

Obi-Wan only shook the others hands off him. “It doesn’t matter, lets just go Mace.” He mumbled, pulling his hood up to hide his youthful face.

It didn’t matter.

After all, it was only Obi-Wan’s forever shattered heart. It did not matter.


	2. Revelation

“You’ll have to forgive me Obi-Wan, it took me a bit of time to realize why you’re so… well.” Dooku prowled around with the magna guards at his side, chuckling faintly to himself. “But its not everyday one meets a human who finds their soulmate, quite fascinating honestly.”

Obi-Wan gritted his teeth and kept as serene an expression as he could, ignoring the way attention seemingly shifted to him at that even as his troopers continued discreetly preparing for evac and battle. “I have no idea what you’re speaking off.” He murmured instead.

Dooku had the grace to laugh at him, outright, from the dept of him laugh. “Oh come now Master Kenobi, you haven’t aged a day since the war started, only grown weary and looking at you through the Force… I’d say you were in your mid twenties.” He raised his carefully groomed brows at him. “My… that is an interesting time frame now that I consider it.”

Oh, that’s a time frame that Obi-Wan can’t let anyone consider.

So he chuckles himself and does what he does best…

He talks shit.

And by shit he digs into all the sore spots that makes Dooku attack them a tad earlier then perhaps is comfortable for his troopers.

And of course he takes a direct hit that almost severs his leg from his body and opens up his stomach… oh great.

Time in the bacta tank.

()()()

Shaking his head, Anakin frowned to himself while peering up at Obi-Wan floating slowly in the bacta tank in the breathing mask and black shorts.

‘For Force sake Master, sometimes one could think you did this on purpose.’ He thought grouchily as he flickered his eyes over the multitude of scars he could see through the green tinted fluids to the vicious bruises blooming over most of the pale man in the tube. ‘Courting damage.’ He sighed.

Beside him Ahsoka was carefully going through the pad, reading over Obi-Wan’s injuries.

But she got his attention when she made a confused noise. “What?” He tilted his head to look down at his padawan.

“Just… I never seen this before, what does it mean?” She questioned.

Rolling his eyes and turning to her with an amused grin, Anakin raised his brows. “Ahsoka, I’m no mind reader, what is it?”

She tapped the pad. “Well here, in his personal information it says his standard identifications but… there’s a line here that says ‘Human SM: confirmed, unaware and none aging.’” She looked up at Anakin, blinking when she stared at her with a gobsmacked look on his face.

“Give me that.” Snatching the pad out of her hands, Anakin stared at the sentence long enough for his eyes to hurt.

“…Skyguy?” Ahsoka cocked her head in confusion, frowning at the other as turbulent emotions flickered through the air.

“…It means that Obi-Wan has a soulmate and that he found them. It means that he’s not aging at the moment because the soulmate is not the same age as him yet but that the soulmate is not aware of Obi-Wan.” The knight finally murmured to his padawan.

“Huh. I heard about that but I thought it was like… an urban myth about humans.” Ahsoka blinked and looked up at Obi-Wan, squinting at him through the gel.

“Its…rare… there’s so many of us and we’re scattered all over the galaxy, the chance of actually meeting them is… well the chances are astronomical.” Anakin swallowed a bit and looked up at Obi-Wan. “Its a momentous occasion… even for attachment forbidden Jedi…”

Obi-Wan had a soulmate.

Obi-Wan had meet his soulmate and knew them.

Obi-Wan wasn’t aging and looking away for the tired lines…

Obi-Wan was young.


	3. Heart struggling

Marching towards temple hanger 12, Obi-Wan rolled his eyes as he listened to the quick steps running after him. “For Force sake Anakin, quit!” He yelled, turning around to glare up at the other, oblivious to the startled looks of pilots and knights alike.

“But Obi-Wa-” Anakin looked upset, his entire face a giant pouty frown with his hair tied back in a little tail in his neck.

“No! No, no, no, I’m not answering these questions Anakin!” He glared up at the other.

“But you have a soulmate!” Anakin gestured. “Who doesn’t know your their soulmate!”

Running his hand over his face and rubbing his beard, the redhead growled a bit. “…Anakin, Force forbid this but not everyone is looking for connection. I am a Jedi. That mea-”

“But even Jedi are allowed soulmates.” Anakin interrupted. “I know, I checked. I read through all the notes on soulmates within the orders, its one of the few excepts along with people being married for their races continuity. Its a Force gift from the Light side of the Force itself.” He crossed his arms over his chest, cocking his head while frowning down at his old master. “But you-”

“But I have not engaged in it.” Obi-Wan cut in sharply. “And I have to return to the battlefield, so unless you have a good reason for me to stay Anakin Skywalker.” He raised his brows at him.

Anakin opened his mouth.

“That does not contain any reference to my soulmate.” The older man shot in.

Anakin shut his mouth, staring at him.

“Thought so.” Obi-Wan sighed and shook his head, rubbing his temple. “…Look, Anakin… this is my case. If I want to engage with my soulmate, that’s my personal prerogative, mine and my soulmates.” The master sighed.

“But they don’t know.” Anakin frowned. “You should at least have told them but the folder.”

“Anakin, it would be cruel of me to tell them only to reject them.” Obi-Wan turned away, heading for his ship and jumping in. “Beside…they’re already in love.” He added before the canopy closed.

Anakin blinked hard at that, stepping back quickly when Obi-Wan engaged the ship and took of after receiving clearance.

‘… They’re already in love?’ He stared at the fading ship before turning around slowly, rubbing the back of his neck and sighing quietly.

He couldn’t imagine how that hurt Obi-Wan.

Knowing their soulmate, seeing them… and finding them already in love.

That had to be horrible.

He couldn’t imagine how he’d feel if Padme…

Looking down at his feet, Anakin frowned heavily before sighing and looking up, meeting the eyes of the pilots of the hanger. “What?!” He snapped only for them to jump back to work. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He grumbled.

He knew the gossip would travel the temple anyway but… well hopefully that would hamper it a bit in its tracks.

Floating through space, Obi-Wan stared at the stars before sighing and pressing his hand to his eyes. “…Kark.” He hiccuped.

There was a series of beeps from R4 and Obi-Wan cleared his throat as best he could.

“I-I’m alright R4, I’m just… struggling a bit. We all are… I’ll get better.” He murmured into his own hand. “…Eventually.”

She beeped sadly at him, whirling her dome to look at him.

“…You’re not going to tell anyone are you? I’d rather…I’d rather he not find out.”

Waaping a bit at him provoked a laugh from Obi-Wan, watery sounding.

“Yes, he is oblivious but… I like that about him… I like most of him… that’s why his happiness is important to me. Now lets get to the Negotiator, alright?”

The droid whistled at him and took over the controls for her Jedi, guiding the ship into hyperspace.


	4. A part of you

“So how does this human soulmate thing work?” Ahsoka questioned, watching Anakin work on his speeder.

The blond sighed a bit, rubbing a bit of grease over his neck. “Okay, look, just ask me the things you’re actually wondering about and I’ll answer as best I can. I’m no expert, like I said the chances of actually finding them are one in a million.” He loosened a bolt to get to the filters.

Ahsoka considered that. “Okay, do you have one?”

“I might.” Anakin paused a bit. “But not everyone does so its hard to tell.” He shrugged.

“How can you tell?” Ahsoka leaned forward, watching Anakin pull out the filter and handing him the new one.

“That’s just it, you can’t. The older one of the duo usually stops aging when you meet though, so that’s the biggest clue. But what if you’re the same age? Then its impossible.” Anakin sighed a bit. “Anyhow, there’s only one sure way.”

Raising her brows at the humans, Ahsoka waited only for Anakin to focus on the filter. “…Well what’s that way?” She finally prompted.

“Huh? Oh!” Anakin sat up, licking his lips nervously. “Well… supposedly when soulmates… kiss… something’s suppose to happen. I only got holonet stories to go on here Ahsoka since they’re so rare but its…” He twitched his hand. “Its like touching a live wire they say, you feel them in you, in your heart, soul and mind. It almost sounds like they form some kind of bond from the moment they kiss.” He sighed and rested his hands on his knees.

Rubbing her chin at that, Ahsoka mused. “Well that would explain why the Jedi order allows them, Force willed bonds are sacred, no one would attempt to break them.” She hummed.

As Ahsoka mused, Anakin hesitated.

“…There is one more way to know if you have a soulmate.” He finally said.

“Oh?” She questioned chirpily before blinking at his face. “Skyguy?”

Grimacing, Anakin sighed. “The… most sure way to know… is if they die. When a soulmate dies, they take a part of you with them. They are half your soul so when they die, they take that part with them and if you never meet them… it can leave you hollow and broken. Some say certain Sith’s of old were created that way. Jedi who never meet their soulmates and therefor… Fell, desperate and trying to bring them back.” He shrugged.

Ahsoka stared at him with wide eyes.

“…Yeah.” He wrinkled his nose and sighed. “Its why Obi-Wan should tell the person who’s his. Even if they are in love already and happy.” He settled back to work on the speeder.

“…Has to hurt him though. I mean I know master Obi-Wan is a good Jedi but he’s not without emotions. Having your soulmate already in love can’t be easy.” She mused to herself. “Hey how old is he now?” The teen blinked.

Anakin shrugged. “Not sure, from what I can tell he seems to be in his late twenties or early thirties, why?”

Kicking her legs back and forth, Ahsoka shrugged. “Just wondering if we know his soulmate.”

Anakin blinked at that, lifting his head a bit and catching both his own and Ahsoka’s reflection in the speeders canopy.

He hadn’t considered that…


	5. Finding out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry! I accidently updated the sixth chapter instead of the fifth one first!

Tilting Obi-Wan’s head left and right, Ventress smirked a bit. “I have to admit, that is a good look for you dear Obi-Wan, the muzzle really works for you.” She gloated quietly as the redhead peered back.

Unable to verbally answer, Obi-Wan just cocked an eyebrow at her and grunted when she finally let go of him.

Watching the Jedi curiously, Lott Dod gestured to the kneeling man. “How does this muzzle thing work? I must admit I have never seen the Negotiator this quiet before, even gagged.” He noted.

Ventress snorted, moving to the table and pouring herself a glass of wine. “Its clamped to his tongue, moving is…painful.” She smirked at the redhead who snorted at her. “And if forcibly removed, it will take his tongue as he well knows which is why he’s being so quiet.”

Lott put a hand to his mouth. “I see, what an insidious device my lady.”

Shrugging her shoulders, the acolyte waved a negligent hand. “Provided by Dooku, its partly a Sith artifact, able to zap the wearer from their Force ability.” She took another sip, eyeing Obi-Wan over the rim of the glass. “He really wants you, apparently your soulmate connection is worth something dear Obi-Wan.”

The redhead jerked to at that, pupils first blowing out then narrowing in sudden comprehension before he shot to his feet, growling at her.

“Oh are you going to run now, see if you can escape? I would very much enjoy the hunt if you tried.” Ventress set the goblet down with a click, a wide grin stretching across her face as the two Force users stared at each others.

Obi-Wan rolled his shoulders, narrowing his eyes even more.

“Or do you think Skywalker is going to come bursting in here to save you, seeing as its him you belong to?” She cooed.

And then she jerked to, looking around, eyes widening before she narrowed her eyes. “Seems Skywalker is here…and he heard me.” She smirked a bit and focused on Obi-Wan. “Seems the secrets out Obi-Wan dear.”

Obi-Wan just growled him before yelping when she grabbed him by the upper arm, nails digging into his arm as he tried to put his heels in.

But sans the Force he was kind of helpless in the face of both her current physical strength and his own waning ability with the Sith muzzle on.

“But I’d rather not lose Dooku’s prize this time, so lets get you on a ship on the way to him before wonderboy catches up to us.”

The Neimodian was hurrying after them, eyes worried as he glanced the way they could now hear battle. “Skywalker is here?” He yelped, moving a bit quicker.

“Where there’s Skywalker follows Kenobi and Kenobi follows Skywalker without mistake. I knew he was coming but he was quicker then I anticipated. Must have had the room bugged…” She mused.

Obi-Wan faintly wished he could feel Anakin in the Force, to plead for forgiveness or at least explain that Ventress had gotten the drop on him and he didn’t mean to get captured again. As it was he had no other choice but to be dragged along by the woman and shoved up the ramp of her ship, Dod following them.

()()()

Staring after the faint trails of the ship, Anakin hands tightened into fists.

Ventress had Obi-Wan, Ventress was taking Obi-Wan to Dooku…Obi-Wan was his…soulmate?

He was Obi-Wan’s soulmate?

That didn’t…

Anakin loved Padme.

‘ _My soulmate is already_ _in_ _love._ ’

And Obi-Wan knew!

“General?” Rex murmured.

Narrowing his eyes slowly, Anakin slowly turned to his captain. “…We’re tracking down that ship and finding Obi-Wan. Get on it Rex.”

The captain saluted at that as the blond slowly looked back to the spot where the ship had disappeared. ‘And when I do, I’m dragging every answer out of that man.’


	6. Force blind, not defenseless

Force blind and handcuffed, Obi-Wan was still a Jedi and still dangerous. It wasn’t exactly hard for him to pretend to be weakened with the damn muzzle on which lead to Dod getting a bit too close to taunt the Jedi.

As Obi-Wan guessed he would since men like Dod got of on exerting their ‘power’ over those they deemed lesser or in too weak a state to fight back.

The muzzle may be Force blinding him.

It didn’t stop him from physically ramming the Neimodian into the bulkhead with one well timed roll of the ship, firmly knocking the man out while Obi-Wan searched him for keys or any sort of tool he could use to get the handcuffs off.

Nothing.

But that also meant that Obi-Wan was no longer under watch as Ventress was up in the cockpit of the ship.

He pushed to his feet, jaw and tongue aching as he made his way through the ship as carefully as he could, lest he alert a guard or get caught on vid.

Slowly he made his way towards the escape pods, pressing himself into little nooks and crannies every time he heard the clang of droids walking around. Thank the Force the scrap metals were loud kriffs when walking around.

He’d almost reached the escape pods when the entire ship listed and he slammed into the hallway, feeling something shred in his mouth as his side hit the durasteel.

Alarms blared and Obi-Wan jerked too, looking around wildly before pressing himself into a niche once again when a ton of droids ran past.

‘…I guess that means I’m going to throw myself on the mercy of whoever is attacking the ship.’ Obi-Wan thought dryly as he scuttled off towards the escape pods, hoping he could activate the escape pod to get jettison himself to the person attacking.

It couldn’t be worse then Ventress anyhow.

()()()

Scowling as he continued trying to loosen the muzzle, Anakin glanced at the other Jedi only to find Obi-Wan’s eyes firmly set on his sternum as the two sat in the quiet medbay of the Resolute, Kix pretending to be shelving while Rex stood at the doorway watching.

“…You should have told me.” He repeated as he continued working, both relief and frustration in his bones.

Obi-Wan flickered his eyes at him then narrowed his eyes slowly.

“…Hey, no, you’re not… okay look… I love her, I know I do but I got enough space for… Do you know how rare soulmates are.” Anakin argued, reading Obi-Wan’s face and eyes.

The redhead huffed at him.

“I got enough love for you both.” Anakin argued quietly again. “You deserve love too…”

Obi-Wan grunted a bit before wincing when Anakin pulled a bit, a pained whine caught in his throat.

“Sorry.” Anakin sat back and rubbed the back of his neck. “…Obi-Wan, I might need to use the Force to unclamp it inside your mouth if we are to get this muzzle thing off you.” He sighed, seeing the worry in the others eyes. “I’ll be careful, I promise…trust me?”

The two stared at each other.

Then Obi-Wan nodded and shifted closer to Anakin, hands clenched in his lap.

Anakin didn’t take that personally, if he had a muzzle that was clamped to his tongue and was clearly hurting him with the potential to rip said tongue out, he’d be nervous too.

With care, he bought the Force to bear, reaching in as he held his hands on either side of Obi-Wan’s jaw.

He could hear a cracking noise, see Obi-Wan’s eyes water above the solid steel muzzle clamped to the bottom half of his face. As he worked, glowing red symbols appeared on the smooth looking surface and Obi-Wan let out a frightened little whine before clenching his eyes shut tightly.

The muzzle quite literally broke apart under the pressure of Anakin’s Force, falling into his hands in two severed pieces but Anakin didn’t care for that as Obi-Wan instantly doubled over with a wet gasp, blood splattering into his own lap and onto Anakin’s knees from the redhead’s mouth.

Kix gave a low curse, no longer pretending to shelve as he moved quickly and pushed Anakin out of the way to raise Obi-Wan’s chin and open his mouth, staring at the clearly shredded to bloods pieces of the mans tongue.

“…Well, its not ripped out but that’s not going to be a pleasant two weeks for you General Kenobi.” Kix noted grimly as more blood pooled in Obi-Wan’s mouth before he let go of the Jedi to gather what he’d need.

Grabbing a pan, Anakin gave it to Obi-Wan so the other could let the blood leak into the steel pan instead of having it splatter everywhere, blood and tears soaking into the others beard as he gagged a bit.

‘Ow..’ Came a quiet whisper from Obi-Wan as the Force returned to him.

Anakin sighed then reached out and rested a hand on the others shoulder as Kix gathered a sponge, bacta and whatever he’d need for the Jedi. “Oh Obi-Wan…’


	7. If you can

Carefully settling back, Obi-Wan closed his eyes as he desperately wished he could have a swallow of water, the taste of overripe and sickly sweet fruits on his tongue along with a vague side taste of disinfection.

That would be the sponge itself with the bacta being the sweet fruit like taste.

Shifting a bit he winced when he felt the part of the tube taped to his nose shift, trying not to feel nauseous at the thought of the entire tube that was currently lightly restricting his airway through one nostril and was resting all the way down to his stomach.

Kix and Helix when he had seen Obi-Wan’s tongue had both insisted, to prevent infection he couldn’t eat but no one would let him get away with not eating for two weeks.

Therefor he had a nasogastic tube taped to the left his nose securely with the actual tube part where they injected the syringe part taped to his left cheek above the beard.

The tube had been inserted through his nose while he was leaning slightly backwards, slowly traveling down his throat after it had been numbed lightly with a spray and then further down into his stomach.

Four times a day, Helix or Kix would hunt him down depending on who had most time and give him a syringe full off what they claimed was a powerful nutritious but horrible tasting paste and settle him up with an Iv drip in the elbow to ensure he got the fluids he needed too. Honestly it was a horrible sensation as he sat there and did his paperwork or meditation after the nutrition paste, the Iv dripping into him as he tried to go about his days.

On the other side…

He was also spending a lot more time with Anakin now.

And talking about the sun…

Obi-Wan sighed and opened his eyes to look at the door seconds before it opened, Anakin stepping in, blue eyes instantly focusing on the Iv drip before nodding in satisfaction and kneeling down beside Obi-Wan on the floor. “I see the medic’s been here.”

Obi-Wan just grunted.

“And you got the sponge in again I see.” Anakin smiled a bit at him before reaching out and gently stroking his cheek. “Just one more week Obi-Wan, then the sponge, Iv drip and the tube will be gone.” He gently assured.

Long ago having given up resisting the gentle touch, Obi-Wan stared quietly at him as he leaned into the touch.

Licking his lips, Anakin continued gently stroking the redhead’s cheek, obviously gathering his thoughts before he spoke.

That made Obi-Wan wary.

“I spoke to Padme.”

The words made the redhead tense, staring at Anakin.

“She says Naboo consider soulmates sacred, that I shouldn’t let you go easily and I don’t want to let you go Obi-Wan. I know its greedy but… I want you both and I want you to consider if you’re willing to share me. Its not ideal, I know its not ideal but…” Anakin sighed. “…I can’t imagine letting either of you go. Not now that I know.” He made sure to meet Obi-Wan’s eyes. “Please think about it at least.”

Obi-Wan made a low noise at that then sighed and gave a slow nod.

With the sponge in it was hard to actually answer but…

Now that Anakin was aware, Obi-Wan knew that the blond would never let him go.

‘And even Jedi are allowed soulmates, sacred Force bonds as they are…’ Obi-Wan considered before reaching up and catching Anakin hand, taking it in both of his to gently stroke the back of his former padawan’s hand.

Anakin blinked at that before lighting up, beaming at him before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Obi-Wan’s forehead. “We’ll figure this out Obi-Wan… I promise.”


	8. Healed muscles

Grimly satisfied as a healer looked over his tongue one last time, Obi-Wan couldn’t help but feel that it would be a long time until the next time he had fruits after two weeks of the bacta sponge to heal his tongue that tasted of overripe sweet fruit.

But at least now his tongue was functioning though he was warned that he was bound to be sensitive to taste, cold and warmth so he should start very carefully in how he ate and adjust his tongue to the sensations.

And thank the Force that the nasal feeding tube was gone now because if Obi-Wan had to walk around with that thing even a week more he might go a bit coco.

Standing up and stretching a bit as the healer dismissed him, Obi-Wan ran his hand over his hair with a weary little sigh as now came the real battle.

Well, not battle… not directly.

Anakin was aware of their soul bond connection thanks to Ventress spilling the beans.

And as far as Padme was indicating then she would be fine if Anakin could be shared, something which Anakin wanted because of the rarity of soul bonds.

But Obi-Wan wasn’t…

He had resigned himself to not having Anakin at all, to dying quietly one day without the other knowing hopefully if he was honest and yes it would hurt Anakin but if Obi-Wan slowly distanced himself once the other could leave the order to be with Padme then it wouldn’t hurt as much.

Once he had Padme and family and kids…

He’d forget Obi-Wan, the redhead was sure of it.

Now though…

Obi-Wan was fully aware of Anakin’s possessive streak and now that Anakin was aware of it, he would never let Obi-Wan go, he’d hound him until he at least agreed to give it a shot.

And perhaps Obi-Wan was weak.

But he wanted it to, had wanted Anakin all along but had denied it because… because Anakin had been his padawan first, under his guidance. And then Anakin had fallen in love.

Distracted by his own thoughts and memories, Obi-Wan didn’t watch his own step and walked right into Anakin’s chest, yelping a bit as he would have fallen over if it hadn’t been for quick arms wrapping around him to keep him up right.

Blinking, the two stared at each other before Anakin beamed. “Obi-Wan! There you are, I was looking for you.” He turned a bit puzzled. “Don’t you have your comm on?” The knight frowned.

Checking his belt while stepping out of a the arms of a clearly disappointed Anakin, Obi-Wan let out a little curse. “No, no it seems I left it behind. Force, I was just so eager to get the bacta sponge and nasal tube out.” He sighed deeply, hoping the council had not tried to contact him or that there had been an emergency in the meantime.

“Well that’s understandable, you didn’t look comfortable with that in.” Anakin grimaced, falling into Obi-Wan’s side with one arm slung around his shoulder. That was another thing Obi-Wan had taken note of, Anakin had somehow become even more tactile with him after the revelation, quick to throw an arm around him or sit right beside him so their knees brushed.

“I had a sponge in my mouth that tasted of overripe fruit that I couldn’t spit out and a tube that was pushed down my nose into my stomach where I got food paste carefully pushed into my stomach. Forgive me if I wasn’t any more comfortable with that then I was with sitting down for an hour as I got an Iv drip.”  Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.

Anakin hummed, rubbing lightly at Obi-Wan’s shoulder with his hand before slowly letting it drop to rest around his waist instead.

Glancing down at it, Obi-Wan took in how it felt and then glanced warily up at Anakin.

“What? You’re my soulmate, aren’t I allowed?” Anakin shrugged, smiling at him as he made his voice a bit louder on purpose so it reached a pair of senior padawans.

Narrowing his eyes at the other as one of them broke off to go gossip, Obi-Wan sighed and didn’t deny the other. Instead he slowly leaned against Anakin. “Well, there is that. But we need to talk about it.”

“Sure.” Anakin shrugged. “Now that you got the sponge out we can properly talk about it compared to when you were just typing out stuff.” Then he gave Obi-Wan an evil look. “But you’re not going to ditch me, I’m telling you that right now, there is now way you’re going to ditch me.”

Raising his hands in surrender, Obi-Wan smiled. “I know.” He issued quietly to the other to calm him and Anakin went back to smiling after that, his hand tight on Obi-Wan’s waist.

It was time for a serious conversation.


	9. A mess

Rubbing his face, both elbows on the table, Obi-Wan finally looked away from the window and to Anakin and Padme. “I agree that soulmates are important. Its why I waited for you to be an adult Anakin and no longer in my power but you took your own actions and this is the situation it leaves us in, you’re married.” He flickered his eyes between them.

“I didn’t know I even had one.” Anakin argued meekly.

“You think that makes this any better?” Obi-Wan whispered, green eyes sad as Anakin flinched. “You were karking twenty years of age. How in Force name was I to know was I suppose to think you’d go and get married, make a vow outside the Order? I found your crush on Padme both endearing and painful to watch, you’re horrible at flirting but I figured it was harmless.” Obi-Wan dropped his hands into his lap. “I’m not a seer, and now we’re in this situation.” He sighed, sitting back in the chair.

Opening and then closing his mouth, Anakin hesitated before squeezing Padme’s hand and then letting go to get up, moving around the table to stop at Obi-Wan’s side.

The redhead looked up at him mutely before meeting his eyes when Anakin knelt down, frowning a bit when the other took his hand and rubbed it slowly.

“I’m asking you Obi-Wan to give this a chance. I know its not ideal, its not what you imagined but…” Anakin hesitated before lifting the others hand to his lips and kissing Obi-Wan’s knuckles. “I’m still part of your soul and you’re still part of mine.” He stared at him.

Frowning a bit harder, Obi-Wan finally sighed, looking at Padme.

She smiled at him. “Soulmates are sacred. I wouldn’t normally share him but for this… this is important.” She murmured.

“And if he forgets his love for you once the soulbond is active?” He challenged her.

It made Padme hesitate before she took a deep breath. “Then that’s what happens. This is where mine and Anakin’s marriage stops.” She said bravely.

Anakin however made a loud noise in protest. “That’s not going to happen!”

“How can you be sure!” Obi-Wan challenged. “Do either of you have any idea what happens when soulmates finally initiates the bond? Because I don’t, I only know the reports and that’s not much to go on with the rarity o-”

Anakin had enough.

Obi-Wan knew it was going to happen seconds before it did and could have stopped the other Jedi if he wanted.

But he didn’t.

He let Anakin claim his his lips, Anakin’s hands on his cheeks instead as he kissed Obi-Wan desperately with the edges of his nails and the blunt ends of the leather covered fingers digging into his cheek past the beard.

It felt like drowning.

Blocking everything out but Anakin as the others presence filled him unlike anything Obi-Wan had felt as the bond flared up in them.

It was only Anakin, Anakin’s thoughts, his warmth, his scent, the feeling of his tongue flickering against Obi-Wan’s lips, invading his mouth and Obi-Wan mewled into the kiss as he allowed it all, arms going around the blond to drag him into his lap.

It felt like coming home despite never having done this.

It was Anakin who eventually pulled back, staring at Obi-Wan with wide blue eyes as if he’d never seen the other before he beamed and leaned back in, dragging him into a softer, more tender kiss that had Obi-Wan trembling as he locked his arms around the others waist as tightly as he could.

It occurred, almost painfully so to Obi-Wan, that he neither could ever walk away from Anakin, not anymore.

Not with half his soul living in the other man.

What a mess they were all in.


	10. Give me sunshine

She felt like she had been holding her breath for days when Anakin and Obi-Wan finally disengaged from the kiss, the redhead burying his face in Anakin’s shoulder with a dark blush on his face and Anakin wrapping his arms around her to pet his hair with a wide grin on his handsome face.

They both almost looked like they were sparkling and Padme wondered if this was the end for her and Anakin, her stomach twisting with pain at the idea.

But then Anakin turned his head towards her and beamed even more as he ran his fingers through Obi-Wan’s hair and down his nape. That look alone, that soft awe and beautiful tenderness assured her and she smiled back warmly.

Her stomach loosened slowly even as the nerves remained because she knew that they would have to figure out a balance.

Anakin might be able to love two people in such a way, able to love both her and Obi-Wan but she didn’t think Obi-Wan Kenobi functioned in that same way.

Maybe if she was also his soulmate, he would have but Obi-Wan was a Jedi, emotionally stunted and maybe the idea of even loving one person was scary enough.

So she would be content to just be friends, to gossip with each other about Anakin and plot birthday parties for the man.

Once Obi-Wan pulled his head away from Anakin’s che-wait?

She tensed up, staring at Obi-Wan.

Was he… crying?

Anakin’s face too turned from utter delight to confusion and then to panic in mere seconds as he too realized that Obi-Wan was shaking against him, crying into his tunic.

“Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan come on, calm down, its okay, I love you, I really do.” Anakin whispered, panicked before looking at Padme, at lost what to do.

Hesitating, Padme finally got up and came around the table too, settling her hand on Obi-Wan’s back and rubbing. “Oh Obi-Wan, its alright. Its going to be alright.” She cooed gently at him, smiling sadly when he hiccuped loudly and clung even more to Anakin.

“Wasn’t suppose to have you… got you… don’t leave me. Pleasepleaseplease” Obi-Wan finally hiccuped out, clinging even tighter to him and shaking.

Saddened but understanding, Padme continued rubbing Obi-Wan’s back.

Obi-Wan who had resigned himself to not having Anakin, who didn’t believe Anakin wanted him back, Obi-Wan who had been willing to let go of his hearts desire if only to see Anakin be happy and smile…

Of course this was overwhelming him.

To know he was loved, to know that Anakin truly did want him enough to even risk losing Padme with that first kiss.

Poor lonely Obi-Wan, stunted and worn in the middle of a war…

()()()

Shifting off Obi-Wan’s lap slowly, Anakin slowly and gingerly shifted the redhead into his arm, feeling him burrow into his chest with a little whine that had Anakin’s heart shattering even more in his chest.

He hadn’t considered how Obi-Wan must have felt through the entire thing.

Obi-Wan who… tried so hard to be a good Jedi and had even been ready to give up half his soul to make sure Anakin was happy.

Obi-Wan who had broken apart in his arms.

He looked up at Padme.

“Guest room, the bed is big enough if you want to stay with him tonight.” She whispered.

“Might be best, he’s not… his mind is all cluttered and his emotions are…” He breathed out heavily, smiling gratefully when she just nodded in understanding and stood on her toes to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

Between them, Obi-Wan buried his flushed and wet face into Anakin’s chest.

‘Clean him up and dress him down to his inner tunics… won’t be the first time.’ Anakin turned towards the guest bedroom, making quiet soothing noises down to Obi-Wan.


	11. Don't know if I can

Watching Obi-Wan nose slowly into his warmth in the bed, Anakin watched him with no small amount of awe at how _open_ the redhead was in the moment with every little emotion and thought in his sleepy mind whizzing by Anakin.

If he wanted to, he could snatch them up and listen to them or sense them out.

Obi-Wan wasn’t even attempting to keep him out and it revealed to him how deeply he felt and how much Anakin had been held out before.

‘All this just to keep me from discovering we belong together…’ Anakin thought while running his fingers through the copper strands. ‘All this because I didn’t wait and went with Padme, how could you believe that was better?’

It was only once Obi-Wan slotted into his place in Anakin’s heart that he figured out that something had been missing all his life. It was like he had been walking around with a missing organ, not life important but vital still and only now did he truly feel _whole_ as Obi-Wan was the missing piece that slotted into the empty space.

The Force turned sour with guilt and Anakin almost cursed himself as he meet Obi-Wan’s green eyes.  Of course if Obi-Wan was so open then Anakin was just as open to the other!

“Anakin, I didn’t know… I thought as long as you didn’t know about me, you wouldn’t…” He breathed out before looking away, his face twisted into a guilty and sad frown. “I’m so sorry.” Obi-Wan whispered.

Taking the other by the hand and pulling him close once again, Anakin made a clicking noise with his tongue. “Don’t. You were working with the best intentions. They just weren’t-”

“Good at all,” Obi-Wan interrupted, sighing deeply. He shook his head when Anakin opened his mouth. “No Anakin, if you felt something missing, something lost then I hurt you with my actions regardless of how noble they may have seemed,” Obi-Wan murmured in a sorrowful tone. “Because you hurt from them.” He said quietly.

Unable to deny that, Anakin ran his fingers through Obi-Wan’s hair.

“And I’m afraid I have more bad news.” Obi-Wan admitted guiltily.

“What?” Anakin frowned, puzzled by what _more_ there could possibly be.

There was a loud, deep sigh as Obi-Wan clenched his eyes shut. “I’m not sure I _can_ share you with Padme.” He confessed quietly.

Staring at the other in shock, Anakin had no idea what to karking say.

“Everything in me screams at the idea of sharing you now that I have you. My entire soul feels like its going to burn. I’m not accustomed to jealousy when it comes to a lover Anakin but I can’t help but feel that this is what it must be like. It was so much easier when I ignored it and tried not to think where you were but _now_.” Obi-Wan rambled out before forcing himself to go mute, biting harshly down on his bottom lip.

Anakin put his thumb beneath the lip, pulling it away and watching as Obi-Wan opened tear wet eyes. “…Can you try?” He begged quietly, confused and lost but also knowing that there was no way he could give up Obi-Wan, not now.

And he didn’t want to give up Padme either but…

He feared what would happen if he had to choose.

“I can try.” Obi-Wan whispered, pressing into Anakin’s arms, clinging to him.

“That’s all I ask for Obi-Wan.” Anakin murmured quietly, pressing his lips to the others temple. For several long minutes neither said anything until Anakin suddenly laughed quietly against pale skin and copper hair.

Pulling back a bit, Obi-Wan blinked at the other in surprise. “What?”

Grinning, Anakin shrugged. “Ahsoka is going to flip her lid in joy, she’s been so worried about you,” He explained, rolling his eyes a bit when Obi-Wan only grew confused. “You’ve looked like death warmed over some days Obi-Wan and every time you heard the word soul mentioned you would visibly wither. She’s going to be delighted.” He assured.

Swallowing a bit, Obi-Wan smiled shyly to Anakin’s delight and hid in the others chest, seeking warm muscles and reassurance that he gave back as his fingers gently caressed the dip of Anakin’s spine, tracing the little hollow.

He was almost asleep again when Obi-Wan spoke quietly. “The Council will be happy too.” He confessed.

“They will?” Anakin blinked in surprise, wide awake.

“…They could tell I was fading away,” Obi-Wan explained quietly. “While the soulbond and lack of it wasn’t really hurting me or you, it was taking a toll on me emotionally.” He explained, peering at Anakin.

Staring back, Anakin pursed his lips but decided not to argue, leaning in and nuzzling the other slowly. “Ah.” He instead murmured with understanding, monitoring Obi-Wan’s shifting emotions as they laid in the bed, warm and mostly content, just learning the shapes of each other.


	12. Can and can't

Having been invited for tea with Padme at her apartment was not something Obi-Wan honestly expected, especially since he knew that Anakin wouldn’t be there since he was in a meeting with the Chancellor.

Still, he had promised Anakin he would try only days ago and by the Force, he was going to try.

So he showed up in his best tunics with newly polished shoes and allowed her to take his robe and seat him at one of the caff tables, giving her his preference for tea as he settled as comfortably as he could on the couch.

And yet he could never expect the words that came out of her mouth after the first sip of tea.

“You can’t share can you?” Padme asked him flatly and Obi-Wan almost dropped his cup, eyes wide as he stared at her. He didn’t pretend not to understand what she meant.

His hands were turning white on the cup when he finally choked out an answer. “Anakin wants us both.”

Her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed. “Anakin is being selfish. He’s not willing to let you be shared and yet he assumes you’d be fine with sharing with me? No, that’s him being selfish Obi-Wan and I don’t like the fact that you’re becoming wan.” Padme said seriously, her brows furrowed.

Wan?

Obi-Wan blinked at her and she gained a sad look. “You don’t see it do you, the way color has gone from your face despite gaining your soulmate. The way the bags under your eyes aren’t going away. Obi-Wan, that’s not just the war taking its toll, that’s Anakin trying to have his cake and eat it too by keeping us both.” She explained softly.

The redhead looked away, feeling lost before he managed to set the cup down on the table, his hands shaking as he did. Then he buried his face in his hands. “I just want him _happy_. Was that too much to ask of the galaxy?” He whispered brokenly.

Padme sighed sadly and got up, moving around the table to sit down beside him to rub Obi-Wan’s back. “It is when someone is trying to be greedy like Anakin is. He _can’t_ have s both. He may love me and he loves you, but to have us both is clearly damaging you.” She explained seriously to Obi-Wan.

Oh both knew of this character flaw of Anakin, the need for people that could make him selfish in wanting to keep them.

They knew it came from the brutal death of Shmi.

And usually it wasn’t a bad thing, usually…

But in this moment it was breaking Obi-Wan up.

“Right,” She said waspishly. “I am talking with that man and I’m going to make him understand.” And oh it clearly hurt Padme to say that.

Obi-Wan knew that as he looked up from his hands to stare at her. And yet he couldn’t help the hope that bloomed in his chest.

“He has no idea what he’s squandering if he’s unwilling to see what he’s putting you through clearly.” Padme huffed and continued to rub Obi-Wan’s back.

“He just… he loves you.” Obi-Wan tried meekly to defend Anakin but fell silent under her stern gaze.

“He’s being an idiot. He may love me but you are part of his _soul_ and there is nothing in this galaxy that can really compete against that, not when push comes to shove. If you were a platonic soulmate than yes, this could have functioned but you _aren’t,_ you are a romantic soulmate clearly and meant for his love and he is going to _kill_ your soul if he continues this sharing business,” She finished, her voice growing more gentle. “We’ll get this figured out Obi-Wan, I promise you.” Padme whispered in that gentle tone, as if Obi-Wan could break apart at a word.

And just maybe… that was what he could.

Maybe that was what he’d been doing since Anakin had asked him to try. So instead he just nodded and quietly drank the cup of chamomile tea Padme had poured for him, her hand resting on his back in comfort.

It was better than no comfort after all.


	13. May we be alright?

Obi-Wan’s not quite sure what’s going on with Padme and Anakin but he can feel the blond, far away and storming over the next two days.

Turbulent emotions, raging against something that sparks in their bond which has Obi-Wan wincing and trying to wrap it up to avoid the fallout of it because the sensation hurts.

And then it goes quiet, like the still before the storm and it has Obi-Wan on edge, his teeth aching almost with his own tenseness.

And yet when it all finally breaks, its not a storm of shouting but Anakin standing by the door as Obi-Wan returns their apartment from a council meeting, Anakin watching him with sad eyes but observant eyes.

“Do you think I’m selfish too? For wanting both of you?” Anakin asked bluntly as the older man came in range and Obi-Wan blinked, tucking his robe more tightly around himself as if to hide.

“No, of course not.” He quickly assured but obviously that was the wrong thing to say as Anakin’s face crumbled even more as Obi-Wan ushered him inside.

“She said that’s what you’d say.” He mumbled in a miserable tone and after a moment, Obi-Wan pushed Anakin towards the couch and had him settle down, intent on getting the other man a calming cup of tea.

However before he could go to the kitchen, Anakin wrapped a hand around his wrist and pulled him down too, pulling the redhead into his lap where he buried his face in Obi-Wan’s chest with his one arm tightly wrapped around his waist and the other still clinging to the wrist, thumb pressed into Obi-Wan’s pulse point.

Unsure what to do with their changed relationship so uncertain at this point and new, Obi-Wan started to run his fingers through Anakin’s curls slowly and soothingly until the knight finally looked up to meet his eyes, blue eyes flickering over Obi-Wan’s face searchingly before Anakin’s face fell. “She’s right. You look even worse than before I found out, you look drained and tired.” He whispered.

Flushing self consciously, Obi-Wan shifted to try and escape Anakin’s lap only for the other to hold on tighter. “I just haven’t slept well lately, that’s all.” He tried to wave away.

Anakin gave him a severely unimpressed gaze that had Obi-Wan wincing because yes, that was a feeble attempt at avoiding the truth, he had to admit that.

Usually Obi-Wan would be a lot better at avoiding and lying but Anakin was right, Obi-Wan was _tired_.

He slumped a bit then made a surprised noise as Anakin carefully manhandled him until Obi-Wan was tucked below the knights chin, his ear pressed to the blonds sternum where a steady heartbeat sounded with Anakin’s fingers buried in red hair as he cupped the back of Obi-Wan’s head.

Obi-Wan’s eyes fluttered, pressing closer to the sound as it was as soothing as it was glorious.

Anakin’s beating heart as the other wrapped his love around Obi-Wan.

Alive, magnificently alive and there with Obi-Wan.

Letting out a soft, almost drowsy noise when Anakin shifted, Obi-Wan followed the gentle prompting until they were both laying on the couch with Obi-Wan settled on top of Anakin with his head pressed to the chest still.

Fingertips played with his nape hairs and Obi-Wan could feel his entire body relaxing as exhaustion, bone deep and mind numbing, settled in and had him closing his eyes.

For once since realizing Anakin was with Padme, Obi-Wan thought it was going to be okay.

Perhaps for once, the galaxy would let Obi-Wan be happy.

He wanted to be happy.


	14. I do not get to keep

There are things in boxes in their quarters and Obi-Wan sends Anakin an unsure stare as he stands there in his sleeping clothes that the other must have redressed him in sometime during the night when he fell asleep against the other man.

Anakin stared back before rubbing the back of his neck with a deep sigh. “Its… things that I had at Padme’s apartment. We,” He paused, seemingly searching for words before he made his way over to the bedroom door and pulled Obi-Wan out from where he had stopped, stroking his hand thoughtfully over a furred cheek. “We offically drew up the divorce papers after you fell asleep. And she had Sabe and Rabe help pack up my stuff.” He said quietly and a bit awkwardly.

Glancing towards the boxes and than back up at Anakin, Obi-Wan opened his mouth before closing it again.

Licking his lips nervously, Anakin ran his hand through his perpetually messy curls. “Look I know this is all really weird and I know its going to be like it for a while but can’t we ju-”

“I don’t understand.” Obi-Wan cut in, staring up at Anakin with wide eyes.

Huffing a bit, Anakin rested his hand on the back of his neck. “We agreed that soulmates comes first and I can’t be selfish about this even if it hurts to choose because I know I love you both. But that’s just it, you can still be friends even if you love someone and I’m not sure I can imagine myself not loving you when you slot so perfectly in with me.” Anakin managed to get out, trying to find the words to make the other understand.

Focusing back on Obi-Wan he couldn’t help but shift a bit in surprise because Obi-Wan was shaking a bit, seemingly unconsciously as he went from glancing between the boxes and Anakin as if he couldn’t believe the other was there.

“I don’t get to have the things I want,” Obi-Wan clenched his hands into his off white sleeping tunic, staring at Anakin with confusion as he said that. “I don’t get to keep the things that matters to me… I…” He swallowed heavily, the sound echoing in the quarters.

Staring at the other in shock, Anakin felt sudden and unexpected tears pressing against the back of his eyes.

Because of course that was why the other was shocked, because he couldn’t actually believe that Anakin was there.

Obi-Wan Kenobi expected nothing, didn’t ask for anything because he didn’t think he would get it and time and time again he was left disappointed because the galaxy left him with _less_ than nothing even when he should have had _something_.

“Oh Obi-Wan,” He whispered with a choked voice, cupping the others cheeks as he pressed their foreheads together. “I’m here, you get to keep me if you want me. I promise you get to keep me.” Anakin swore to the other.

Still the other looked so hesitantly as he slowly relaxed his knuckle white hands from his shirt to wrap his arms around the others waist instead, still shaking. “I do?” Obi-Wan questioned, utterly bewildered.

Letting out a shaking breath, Anakin pressed a soft, chaste kiss to the others lips. “You do. You get to keep me. I’m not going anywhere Obi-Wan.” He pulled the other flush to him, tightening his arms around the others waist.

Obi-Wan seemed confused still and also overwhelmed, settling his head on Anakin’s shoulder before clenching his eyes shut while taking several deep breaths.

Saying nothing, Anakin rocked the other, letting it sink in.

Obi-Wan was going to get something he wanted.

And by the Force if it was in Anakin’s powers he’d make sure Obi-Wan kept it.


End file.
